What Is Great Leadership?
Growing
up, I have had many teachers, coaches, mentors, and instructors. Few of them
were great leaders, while others were doing their job. Often, the ones I found
approachable were the ones I felt truly wanted to help, guide and support.
These individuals would use their years of experience, and unbeknownst to me at
the time, would provide words of wisdom I would not completely understand for
years to come. Many of these leaders had a job to do and focused on getting that
work accomplished. Much of my interaction with them was fleeting moments of
question-answer encounters, leaving me feeling unsupported, despite the answer
given. The few compassionate leaders always took the time to listen to my
question or concern truly and replied, showing me that what I had to say was
valid.
As a
young competitive gymnast, I had always read about a world-famous gymnast and
coach, Abie Grossfeld, and hoped that someday I would be coached by him. I had
read that Abie was an accomplished Olympic coach with a unique way of
communicating with his gymnasts. In time, Abie would become my coach at
Southern Connecticut State University. My experience of him was slightly
different than what I had imagined. Abie was much older and less involved
physically in coaching other than using a rope and belt system rigged on the
ceiling in the gym to support the gymnast in the air while the gymnast learns.
Throughout the years, as an elite competitive gymnast, Abie and I engaged in
numerous conversations, always standing by to offer the truth and practical
guidance when he thought it necessary. Did Abie work to be an empathic or
compassionate leader?; I do not believe he did. I feel he was sincere, honest,
and cared about our development, not only as gymnasts but as people.
Abie’s passion for the sport of
gymnastics fueled his motivation to coach the skills that took him decades to
refine. His impact on me left me feeling cared for, inspired, and motivated to
become a better gymnast, a better person. Over time, I have learned to become
the man that continues to reflect and apply many of his lessons for life, such
as; 'no matter how good you get at gymnastics, always remain humble,' 'gather
all the facts before passing judgment,' and 'technique before power.' These
bits of wisdom I discovered years later can translate beyond gymnastics and
into everyday life, where we see opportunities to do so. Abie is a great man
and, through his care, sincerity and honesty built an everlasting relationship
with all of his past gymnasts. As Jennifer stated of Boyatzis (2012) in our
Discussion post (1.2), "effective leadership does not have to do with
who's the smartest... or who invented the key product, or sold the largest
account... the effective leader builds the relationship."
In 2012, after 12 years in the Navy, I met who was to become my platoon
Officer-in-Charge (OIC), Joes Sanchez. To this day, I find it challenging to
think of him, never mind, writing his name and reflecting once again on how his
words and actions hurt me. Jose was a new and young Lieutenant in the United
States Navy and engaged from self-interest rather than service. As a First
Class Petty Officer, I had a good amount of experience already and was older
than many, if not all, of my peers. While deployed with him, he felt it
necessary to wield his power and send someone home in the middle of deployment.
I was his target for some reason beyond my understanding. Being sent home for
multiple stated reasons that carried no truth had profound negative emotional
implications on my part. It indeed was a traumatic emotional experience, one I
would ask for support with years later. Looking back with a more objective
perspective in discussion with a counselor, it appeared that Jose came from a
place of insecurity and doubt and selected me because I was a perceived threat
to his leadership position. Menon and Thompson (2010) shared that "Anxiety
about our own performance underscores our insecurities." Taking time to
reflect even now and know that all attack is a natural reaction to fear, it
helps me to understand better what Jose may have been going through and allows
me the mindful space to forgive him and let what I have been holding onto,
go.
While
the impact of Jose's words and actions had profound adverse effects on my
career and emotional state for years to come, I can finally sit in reflection
and heal a bit more. This blog turned out to be an unexpected gift. The impact
of our past leaders has profound effects on who we become. Sometimes, the impact
we receive emotionally from our leaders affects our perceptions and decisions at
the moment. We must be mindful of our emotions and shift them to become and
remain a positive force for others.
References:
Boyatzis, R. (2012, May 21). Resonant Ledership - UNC Kenan-Flagler. Retrieved: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxjNu6kSpKc&t=96s
Menon, T., & Thompson, L. (2010, April). Envy at Work. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved: https://hbr.org/2010/04/envy-at-work.
No comments:
Post a Comment