A641.4.3.RB_SiegmundWayne

 Tipping Points of Emotional Intelligence

          The tipping point with most things often relates to a threshold of something that has accumulated to a point of maximum effectiveness and at the point of diminishing returns or ineffectiveness. The four pillars of Emotional Intelligence; Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, and Social Skills, in conjunction with cognitive competencies, provide data contributing to the efficacy or the limiting determinants that make sufficient effectiveness in performance (Boyatzis, 2006, p. 125). Petrides (2017) stated, "McClellan and his students showed that there tend to be  'tipping points' in the relationship between emotional competencies and performance" (p.4). 

          Understanding and managing one's own emotional intelligence and being able to offer empathy and compassion in the right way at the right time under the right circumstances can lead to outstanding performance. Mind you, the term 'right' is in relation to what it is you are trying to accomplish. Lacking understanding and, or management of one's own emotional intelligence, or not applying empathy and compassion to a social situation when needed for outstanding leadership can render one's performance less than outstanding. Managing your social skills with Positive and Negative Emotional Attractors (PEA/NEA), helps a leader either "...trigger constructive and physiological responses that enhances an individual's motivation, effort, optimism, flexibiity, creative thinking, resilience and other adaptive behaviors," or calls "attention to current social and environmental stressors that may compromise an individual's effectiveness" (Howard, 2006, p. 657).

          In 2019, I led a reconnaissance team of five Special Operators into a training scenario that would ultimately teach me that leading others effectively required a good working knowledge of my subordinates' emotional state, as well as a sense of their personalities. It was not long into our patrol that I gave our Leading Petty Officer (LPO) the opportunity to take charge and navigate the team to the Lay-up Point (LP) through the dark in the middle of the woods. My LPO was eager to lead and perhaps a bit over-confident. I realized 30 minutes into the patrol that the LPO was taking us in the wrong direction. I knew I needed to replace him without him losing the respect of his men. When I asked the men to 'circle up,' I made it clear that the upcoming terrain should be getting easier and that I would need my most experienced navigator in the rear of the patrol in case we encountered a threat and needed to depart the area. I asked for a volunteer to become the lead navigator. Out of the three that raised their hand, I chose the one I thought would be most competent. I thanked my LPO in front of the rest of the guys for getting us as far as he did safely. My LPO walked back to the trail position of the patrol, looking like he was being punished. 

          The decision I made left my LPO feeling insecure about looking incompetent to navigate despite my attempt to make him look good in front of his peers. I did not understand how my LPO perceived the situation, and I did not manage his emotional disposition well afterward. In hindsight, it would have made more sense to halt the patrol and quietly speak with him to help him navigate the terrain in the dark. Doing so would have looked like I was getting an update from him and passing vital information to him. If I had done this instead, we would have eventually made it to the LP, keeping his peers' respect and his dignity.

          The other Petty Officer I chose to take the lead felt inspired by the vote of confidence I lent him in choosing him to navigate over the other two volunteers. His successful navigation to the LP built up his confidence and showed his peers competence to lead the team. I also took the time to thank him in front of his peers for doing a great job navigating the team in the dark for the first time.

          In both situations, I had triggered PEAs as well as NEAs. The conditions I exercised my decisions in were more complex than I was aware of and therefore did not appropriately prepare and manage all the decisions I had made that day. Being aware of such potential attractors while considering all the courses of action to take can help mitigate the risk of reaching a tipping point rendering performance less than outstanding.

References:

Boyatzis, R. E. (2006). Using tipping points of emotional intelligence and cognitive competencies to predict financial performance of leaders. Psicothema. Retrieved from http://www.psicothema.com/pdf/3287.pdf

Howard, A. (2006). Positive and negative emotional attractors and intentional change. Journal of Management Development, 25(7), 657-670. https://doi.org/10.1108/02621710610678472

Petrides, K. V. (2017). Inteligence, emotional. Module in Neuroscience and Behavioral Psychology.1-6. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-809324-5.05601-7

A641.3.3.RB_SiegmundWayne

 Emotional Intelligence: Getting Results!

          I do not think about what Emotional Intelligence (EI) is or what it consists of in my day-to-day life. Still, I regularly engage in the four sub-categories or dimensions of EI: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, and Social Skills without explicitly referring to them. I wake up in the morning and immediately consider how I feel, physically, mentally, and emotionally, which helps me determine what I need to do for myself in deciding how I choose to engage my day and those I encounter. I make adjustments throughout the day on how I desire to feel and how I would like others to receive me.

          Most of the time, I do a pretty good job of managing emotions that would not necessarily benefit me in terms of others' reactions to these emotions. At other times, especially with those closest to me, such as family, I express my feelings to teach my children that all emotions are healthy to share and safe to do so with those whom you are closest. There are accepted emotional behaviors in my work environment, and there are behaviors not welcomed. I discipline myself to make such adjustments to get on the same 'wavelength' and remain resonant with my subordinates and peers. I work to relate more readily with each other, quickly reacting to tasks that need our attention without getting caught up with each other on a personal level. 

          I have been developing for quite some time now the ability to read others. Accurately reading others takes a lot of 'people watching' time. I have spent countless hours paying attention to people's behaviors, dispositions, and reactions. The variety of expressions come in many forms and takes a long time to categorize emotions correctly. Social awareness helps us connect with others and relate to their feelings by paying attention to people's behaviors, associating with them, and supporting them. The subtle differences in how we choose to react between our work and personal environments dictate what values we prioritize in said environment. I may ask another at work if everything is okay when they express being upset and listen and support how I can professionally. In contrast, my reaction to the same situation with a close friend at home will receive a more personalized approach and support.

          Engaging with others in a one-on-one or group setting tells a lot about my approach and reactions to others. In a one-on-one setting, I tend to let my guard down and become more vulnerable in hopes of connecting with the other's authentic self genuinely. N a one-on-one setting, I feel most relaxed and apt just to be me, while in a group setting, I tend to be a bit more on guard ever vigilant of being perceived as something I'm not or being judged negatively for who I am. Nonetheless, this position seems to work for me as I am typically the type who prefers observing and learning the group's disposition and behavioral atmosphere before engaging. This way, I can contribute myself to the subject at hand better informed. However, I cannot yet explain why I choose to observe, listen and assess before engaging while others dive right in!

          These four domains are necessary to pay close attention to anyone looking to improve their relationships with others. In my case, both Self-Management and Social Skills can use more work. When I'm not in a place to discuss certain emotions, I can wear my feelings on my sleeve, attracting other well-meaning, concerned individuals. Understanding the right time and place to have these discussions also requires discernment. My uncomfortableness with engaging a group of people I don't know comes from an insecurity of being judged negatively. I know that I care about how others see me, particularly those with a vested social and emotional interest. In these situations, I am very deliberate about how I behave amongst the group, working to preserve a perception from the group that supports the relationship.

          Looking at the four dimensions holistically they have only helped me become even more aware of what I lack in relationship building. There are those at work that are a bit more guarded and difficult to reach. There are also those groups that have a unique personality and resonance. I need to be more intuitive in these types of environments. Developing my Social Skills at the group level will be paramount in my leadership roles in the future. Tending to Self-Management and Social Awareness will undoubtedly benefit my future relationships.

References;

Goleman, D. [Daniel Goleman]. (2012, April 23). Daniel goleman introduces emotional intelligence [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7m9eNoB3NU

Goleman, D. (2007, March). Why aren't we more compassionate? [Video]. TED. https://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_goleman_why_aren_t_we_more_compassionate

A641.2.3.RB_SiegmundWayne

 Am I a Resonant Leader?

          The first time I heard of the term, 'resonant leader,' I was in my last course and chose to look at what my next class would be about. I immediately understood based on my physics background that it had to do with resonating with others. I felt I was going to really enjoy this course. For as long as I can remember, I have been a highly self-aware individual. One of my favorite past-times (and still is) was going to a bookstore, heading to the Personal Development section, and pulling books to learn more about me and how to become the next best version of me. 

          Up until the beginning of this course (MSLD 641), I felt I was a resonant leader of sorts; always reading people, self-aware of my emotional disposition, and managing it around others to develop a relationship. The development of a relationship was, in part, reflective of the environment I interacted with them albeit at work, home, the grocery store, the neighborhood, etc. Each environment gave meaning to those individual relationships. Each environment told me what boundaries to have and what boundaries were not required. Of course, this had to do directly with what vulnerabilities I was willing to share which were dependent on the type of relationship I felt I should have with each individual. Was it someone I met in passing at a gas station, or someone I sat down within a coffee shop discussing our families with? At other times, rare as they may be, it had nothing to do with the environment and everything to do with the connection and conversation.

          I do not feel I am the resonant leader that I thought I was. While I am a good reader of people, and very self-aware of my own emotional state and manage it well, I am discovering there is much more I can do to become the leader whose primary job is to connect emotionally with others and direct their strengths and weaknesses to support and positively impact the overall mission or organization; to inspire them to work together for the sake of a personal or united vision. Nath (n.d.) states, "Organizations everywhere need now to realize the benefits of primal leadership by cultivating leaders who generate the emotional resonance that lets people flourish." My mindfulness should be centered around reflecting on these things. I have been naturally reading, empathizing, and connecting with people all my life without really being conscientious about the process. Now I feel I need to wake up. I need to pay close attention with a sense of purpose; to develop my intent of becoming the resonant leader and not just someone who works in a leadership position that can simply connect with people. "When leadership is resonant, followers become upbeat and enthusiastic and vibrate with the leaders. Resonance amplifies the emotional impact of leadership" (Goleman et al., 2002).

          The truth is that I do not know if I inspire people. I have never asked anyone. There has been a few in my life that I recall coming up to me to let me know that my gymnastics career has inspired their child in the gym, or how my discipline and focus to make it through Navy SEAL training has inspired them to try as well, but I have yet to discover or learn that my leadership behavior has inspired anyone. I do not try to inspire anyone. I feel if my passion for what I do comes through my language and, or performance, it will inspire others, with or without my awareness. In truth, I am surprised I never thought of becoming this type of leader on my own without having to first read about it. What is nice about reading about it and connecting aspects of resonant leadership I am already practicing and been doing so for years is that I now have a much greater, broader, more meaningful concept as to how to be the resonant leader I desire. I now have a map to navigate and discover with.

References:

Goleman, D., Boyatzis, R. & McKee, A. (2002). The new leaders: Transforming the art of leadership into the science of results. Retrieved from https://d1wqtxts1xzle7.cloudfront.net/51222222/The_New_Leaders.pdf?1483720144=&response-content-disposition=inline%3B+filename%3DThe_New_Leaders_Transforming_the_art_of.pdf&Expires=1623570215&Signature=N1OhRsUh3X~Ku7rML6xuvX2vRP2M0dRKxncMC5dNqMO8EgNZPH9RPBZgRouiHiQzAMjFgVa5HIVtPBRF3CgGjVdyotx8k~Ngy7PYIP4RODcG43Val-lPRTy7W658YZp5rjRk7jdHANxRTuFvCeLvHojdq-vK2JP0gqxopLUE0LSV~uylFsgKnEUHKj-U1kE1BZJvgTLH57zYyE0JZiUo8MltL~s3NpETIvwMw-fLbFnww25lvMXe1fR7ejW1XyzdwEkmLCAFQ5qcgf93RMRDl6VGLlEYuF3CVshyvL5PCE7ncHEr3nTedTk9451iZ5MUvj2~LPyDLG0P~T60SJWojw__&Key-Pair-Id=APKAJLOHF5GGSLRBV4ZA

McKee, A, Boyatzis, R., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader: Develop your emotional intelligence, renew your relationships, sustain your effectiveness. Harvard Business School Publishing

Nath, B. (n.d). An examination of the relationship between emotional intelligence, leadership styles, and leadership effectiveness [Unpublished doctoral dissertation]. Jaypee Institute of Information Technology.

A641.1.3.RB_SiegmundWayne

 What Is Great Leadership?

          Growing up, I have had many teachers, coaches, mentors, and instructors. Few of them were great leaders, while others were doing their job. Often, the ones I found approachable were the ones I felt truly wanted to help, guide and support. These individuals would use their years of experience, and unbeknownst to me at the time, would provide words of wisdom I would not completely understand for years to come. Many of these leaders had a job to do and focused on getting that work accomplished. Much of my interaction with them was fleeting moments of question-answer encounters, leaving me feeling unsupported, despite the answer given. The few compassionate leaders always took the time to listen to my question or concern truly and replied, showing me that what I had to say was valid.

          As a young competitive gymnast, I had always read about a world-famous gymnast and coach, Abie Grossfeld, and hoped that someday I would be coached by him. I had read that Abie was an accomplished Olympic coach with a unique way of communicating with his gymnasts. In time, Abie would become my coach at Southern Connecticut State University. My experience of him was slightly different than what I had imagined. Abie was much older and less involved physically in coaching other than using a rope and belt system rigged on the ceiling in the gym to support the gymnast in the air while the gymnast learns. Throughout the years, as an elite competitive gymnast, Abie and I engaged in numerous conversations, always standing by to offer the truth and practical guidance when he thought it necessary. Did Abie work to be an empathic or compassionate leader?; I do not believe he did. I feel he was sincere, honest, and cared about our development, not only as gymnasts but as people.

          Abie’s passion for the sport of gymnastics fueled his motivation to coach the skills that took him decades to refine. His impact on me left me feeling cared for, inspired, and motivated to become a better gymnast, a better person. Over time, I have learned to become the man that continues to reflect and apply many of his lessons for life, such as; 'no matter how good you get at gymnastics, always remain humble,' 'gather all the facts before passing judgment,' and 'technique before power.' These bits of wisdom I discovered years later can translate beyond gymnastics and into everyday life, where we see opportunities to do so. Abie is a great man and, through his care, sincerity and honesty built an everlasting relationship with all of his past gymnasts. As Jennifer stated of Boyatzis (2012) in our Discussion post (1.2), "effective leadership does not have to do with who's the smartest... or who invented the key product, or sold the largest account... the effective leader builds the relationship."

          In 2012, after 12 years in the Navy, I met who was to become my platoon Officer-in-Charge (OIC), Joes Sanchez. To this day, I find it challenging to think of him, never mind, writing his name and reflecting once again on how his words and actions hurt me. Jose was a new and young Lieutenant in the United States Navy and engaged from self-interest rather than service. As a First Class Petty Officer, I had a good amount of experience already and was older than many, if not all, of my peers. While deployed with him, he felt it necessary to wield his power and send someone home in the middle of deployment. I was his target for some reason beyond my understanding. Being sent home for multiple stated reasons that carried no truth had profound negative emotional implications on my part. It indeed was a traumatic emotional experience, one I would ask for support with years later. Looking back with a more objective perspective in discussion with a counselor, it appeared that Jose came from a place of insecurity and doubt and selected me because I was a perceived threat to his leadership position. Menon and Thompson (2010) shared that "Anxiety about our own performance underscores our insecurities." Taking time to reflect even now and know that all attack is a natural reaction to fear, it helps me to understand better what Jose may have been going through and allows me the mindful space to forgive him and let what I have been holding onto, go. 

          While the impact of Jose's words and actions had profound adverse effects on my career and emotional state for years to come, I can finally sit in reflection and heal a bit more. This blog turned out to be an unexpected gift. The impact of our past leaders has profound effects on who we become. Sometimes, the impact we receive emotionally from our leaders affects our perceptions and decisions at the moment. We must be mindful of our emotions and shift them to become and remain a positive force for others.

References:

Boyatzis, R. (2012, May 21). Resonant Ledership - UNC Kenan-Flagler.                                                            Retrieved: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxjNu6kSpKc&t=96s

Menon, T., & Thompson, L. (2010, April). Envy at Work. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved:  https://hbr.org/2010/04/envy-at-work.