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                                                           Your Favorite Storytelling Leader

    Throughout my college years, my varsity gymnastics coach, Abie Grossfeld, not only told stories, but did so with great accuracy and a knack for finding humor in them. It was the way he delivered the story with the punch line just hanging out there as he continued to ‘paint the picture’. Abie Grossfeld is a world renowned two-time Olympic gymnast and Olympic and NCAA gymnastics coach throughout his adult life. At the current age of 83, he can still tell the most accurate of stories, while letting the humor come through.
    One summer, while at gymnastics camp, I ran into Abie sitting down at a picnic table. I came over to him to say hello, and find out what he was up to. Abie, being the very approachable guy he is, welcomed me to sit down. After a few minutes of small talk, Abie did what he does best; he began telling me a story.  Abie started saying, back in the mid-seventies, just prior to the Munich Olympic Games, a fellow competitor from Penn State and colleague, Jim Culhane, was at his alma mater watching a competition. While hanging out enjoying the meet, he stated to some of his buddies he was with that someone back in 1974 had streaked the Academy Awards. Just then, one of his friends told him he should streak the finals competition there at the NCAA Division I Championships. After bids were rising up to near $400.00, Culhane decided to take the bet. At some point during a lull in finals, Culhane walked out onto the gymnastics tumbling floor naked. Approximately 7,000 fans were applauding. After being escorted out by security, Culhane returned later to make a final nude appearance, but this time did a full floor routine, and then ran out of the building.
    At this point I was laughing pretty hard, because at the time, I had just recently met Jim Culhane. He seemed like he could have been quite the wild guy, as he has a kind of hippy disposition. However, Abie continued to say, what nobody realized was the he was dating a girl that really liked him that he had met at his alma mater some weeks prior to the competition. It wasn’t until he met up with her a couple nights later to find out she was in the crowd. She started off by telling him that at first, when they met, she was not all that attracted to him, but after the NCAA Division I Championships Finals were over, she had definitely had made up her mind…and they have been married ever since.
    Abie concluded, explaining that the moral of the story was to be aware of your surroundings before you decided to make a unique and racy public appearance, you may (or may not) regret it for the rest of your life!
    I feel Abie’s message was loud and clear. While I think his story was multi-purposed, it still sent a message as a lesson to be learned. I cannot say that I was able to identify a vision within his story, but an overall concept was reinforced from previous stories that he had shared in the past; that being to be humble, and not a show off. I continue to keep this idea at the core of my being today, because of the stories he shared with me. Having known Abie for so long, I had become quite acquainted with Abie’s communications style. However, he does provide momentary pause, looking for a particular reaction from me showing that I am following him. Whenever I am told a story from anybody, I, empathetically, connect with the characters within the story playing it out as it is being told. I have always done this. I feel it gives me a great sense to feel, connect and understand the storyteller to my fullest.

References:
Marrion, J. (2011, August 20). Former hisd teacher Culhane inducted into usa gymnastics hall of fame.    Retrieved from http://www.chron.com/neighborhood/article/Former-HISD-teacher-Culhane-inducted-into-USA-9423926.php.

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Conflict Resolution

     Throughout my life, it has been a wonderful challenge to steer each and every conversation, discussion, lecture, argument, and atmosphere to a more desired condition. I realized I had the ability to influence these things, because I was so self-aware growing up. By the time I was in my early twenties, I was often looking to engage in controversial conversations with people I knew, and people I did not know, but were willing to have the discussion with me. I learned through these engagements that I was able to have an enjoyable conversation of discovery. I was discovering how people reacted to my thoughts by way of my words, body language, voice inflection, tone, behavior, pauses, gestures and my reactivity to what they were saying. I also found that what I was wearing, and the environment we were in, played a role in how the conversation would go. Knowing I had the power to influence a discussion, gave me confidence to work on mastering the tools that would help me steer those moments.

     In my working environment, the maturity level is such that anything other than avoidance can easily end up hurting your career. In this environment, it appears to be best not to engage where traditional stances are perceived to be more valuable than conflict resolution. That traditional stance is typically to argue until the other is proven wrong. Therefore, I prefer to use an example outside my organization. Rarely do I see a conflict ensue in Garrison.

     In the family dynamic, there are unlimited opportunities to engage in conflict resolution. Some time ago, in a conversation with my younger brother, Jeff, we discussed what we had decided when it came to raising our children with respect to religion. Were our children being raised the way our parents raised us, or were we venturing away to something different? When my brother asked if I was going to church with my family, I told him that as much as I would like to find a congregation that would suit our family's beliefs, we would simply teach them at home. At that moment, I had asked him if he and his family were going to church, and he had replied, no, but if he was able to find one near where they lived, they would. After he had told me that the religion would be that of which we were brought up on, he ask me what system of faith my family was following. I told him that is was Christian, much like what we grew up on, but quite a bit more spiritual. Jeff continued to ask specific questions about my family's faith. After answering each question, knowing him, I could tell he did not necessarily agree with where I was coming from, but he continued to nod, as if to say he understood, trying not to show an inner conflict.

     At this point, my brother, believing there's a wrong and a right system of believe, as I suppose many a people believe, I tried not to express a righteous behavior towards him. Instead, I chose to share with him a relative perspective on the matter. I explained that while we both grew up believing the same thing in Christianity, as he does now, I had simply discovered for myself another way to look at the same religion that my spouse happen to share. I continued to explain that what we believed was right for us, and what he and his family believed was right for them. In this moment, Jeff appeared a bit more relaxed, less concerned, less on guard, and more accepting. While the hidden conflict laid behind the conversational behavior, the change in perception allowed for an acceptance of the shift from inner conflict to a non-competitive disposition. 

     The great thing about that conversation was that it the format for all future conversations between us that involved a difference of opinion, or decision. We were both able to respect each others perspective without having to challenge each other over who was right, or who was wrong. Looking back, I would have approached the conversation differently by setting the stage first that our differences are character strengths, unique to ourselves. If us leaders can find a conflict resolution approach that spoke to numerous types of conflicts, would those who applied it the first time look to it again as a source to diffuse future potential conflicts?

A520.5.3.RB_SiegmundWayne

What Makes Us Feel Good About Work?

     I suppose there's an assumption somewhere in this question. I can be sure the only reason why we do anything is because at some level, and for some reason, we feel good about something at some point. However, it does not necessarily mean we feel good about the work we are doing. Case and point; if in order to earn enough money to pay my way through college, I would have to work at a job that perhaps was quite menial, uninspiring, and frankly, unmotivating, save the fact that it will pay for school.

     My motivations for my job have changed with the job over the passed 16 years. When starting out, I was motivated by a strong desire to challenge myself mentally and physically. That is to say, I wanted to know that I can get my body to do whatever my mind wanted it to do. During this period of my life, I would be training for the SEAL Teams. In the coming years, my motivations would change from the mental and physical challenges, to wanting to be accepted by my peers, desires for making rank, receipt of bonuses to pay off school loans, and the wanting to create a positive reputation that would precede me. However, these have been motivations behind the purpose of what I do.

     My true purpose behind anything I do, is to be the best I can be at it. There are so many things in life that needs to be accomplished on a day to day basis, and I work often diligently to master myself in all areas. At work, my purpose is to gain the experience and knowledge in an area I have chosen that reflects qualities that I possess and excel at naturally. While fulfilling this purpose, motivated by the promise of mastery, I search for a balance of accomplishment, humor, change in activity, and reflection on a daily basis.

     All my life, I have never truly understood why I would want to pursue anything for the sheer reason of just doing it without the strife of excelling to be the best you can be at it. Along the way, I have had the opportunity to coach, mentor, advise and teach the young, peers, and the old. One of my greatest motivators I have come to know is that of inspiring others. Zenger & Folkman (2013) claim the ability to inspire creates the highest level of employee engagement and commitment.  As an experienced elite gymnast, I have had  the pleasure of motivating up and coming promising gymnasts, bodybuilders as a certified personal trainer, and US Navy SEAL candidates as a current Team member. In this, I see those who look up to me for guidance, answers, and decisions based on my credibility from my experiences, as being inspired to motivate themselves to do something more challenging; something they could acknowledge as a great challenge that could be overcome by themselves. In doing so, I can continue to empower them, and support their motivations.

References:

Zenger, J., & Folkman, J. (2013, June 20). Leadership: What inspiring leaders do. Retrieved from      https://hbr.org/2013/06/what-inspiring-leaders-do

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Supportive Communication

     First, I would like to acknowledge the email letter from the CEO was direct, clear, and definite. The letter expressed the CEO's perception of the issue, disappointment in the current management, and expectations. There are a number of ways to communicate these depending on the leadership style, however, the question I would raise is if this approach was effective across the '400 managers' domain. 

     Managers who truly care about their job, will see this letter as an opportunity to challenge themselves to create a better working environment for all employees and managers alike, all the while satisfying, if not exceeding, the boss' expectations. As one of the 400 managers, I would immediately call for a 'meeting of the minds' with all management peers in order to agree on the perceived problem set, and create a list, or outline of the steps and considerations to be taken for application over the next 30 days in the work place. During this process, the eight attributes of Supportive Communication (Whetton & Cameron, 2016) would be utilized. The next day, all employees would receive a detailed email letter honestly and diplomatically stating the concerns, their effects, the new expectations, and final objectives. This email would be followed up with an 'All Hands', face-to-face meeting with their respective department managers to personally deliver the message during a two-way discussion forum.

     The discussion forum would be critical, as it will be up to the individual managers to ensure the proper message is effectively reaching all the employees in such a way their response is aligned with the CEO's objectives, all the while allowing the employees to be part of the process. For the next 30 days, the eight attributes would be used over the next four weeks covering down on the changes to come, following an email recapping the previous week's discussion.

     Week one: managers would humbly share their concerns, and state the problem clearly and honestly, using facial gestures and body language to match the tone of voice and its fluctuations; this should covey a clear and firm, yet caring and hopeful disposition. We want to motivate and inspire, not emotionally beat down our employees. In conclusion, provide a way-ahead that all can understand and accept. These solutions need to be fair, with changes not too overwhelming. Discussions around the concept of arriving at work no later than 0800 would be had with an open mind to new ideas and reasons for them.

     Week two: discussions revolving around the problems that surround leaving work before 5pm are had. This discussion will allow for idea sharing and corroboration. Exploring ideas that would promulgate a greater drive, or motivation to want to accomplish more, requiring more time at the office. However, a clear understanding of what daily and weekly tasks that need to be completed may allow for early dismissal if met. 

     Week three: week one and week two are recapped and restating the outcome of each meeting while opening discussions on what the employees think how management can assist in the changes to come. Reflecting on the ideas of the employees, management should provide a clear perspective from management point of view allowing employees to also see how management looks at things. Management also seriously considers suggestions by the employees, offering cause and effect scenarios for employees to hear. This allows the employees to perceive their ideas in a new light. Providing specific examples instead of general ones allows for a real world example to be envisioned.

     Week four: management goes over weeks one through three, covering all the positive aspects to the discussions and conclusions. This week is very important as it ties in all the discussion points from all four weeks resulting in meeting, if not exceeding, the CEO's expectations. This week, management will provide the employees an opportunity to share what positive changes have they made for themselves and the company. Management will exercise Supportive listening in order to provide reflective responses to the employees. In turn, management will take ownership of the issues in the way things were getting/not getting done, showing the employees that humility and honesty are traits that need transparency if there is going to be a productive discussion in making change (Whetton & Cameron, 2016).

References:

Whetten, D.A. & Cameron, K.S. (2016). Developing management skills. Pearson Education, Inc.,              9th Edition.

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Constraints on Creative Problem Solving

     Creative problem solving is another way of saying to think outside the box. Some personalities are comfortable in doing this, while others are a little more conservative within their approach. Either way, we all can create a way to solve a problem, and we do so with an aim at comfort and convenience while trying to save time. What we do not normally see are the constraints we often  place on ourselves.

     In my work environment, there are typically A-type personalities that make up most of those working in my work-space, while a small handful we would refer to as 10lb brains. You can always tell them apart by the way they dress and behave. There are literally two cliques in our office space. Among the A-types, each stay among their peers as an act to preserve their appearance of belonging, whereas the 10lb brains can care less. In the military, they say perception is everything - primarily, your reputation. In preserving such a hard earned reputation, we tend to behave in accordance with what is expected and, or accepted. This constraint keeps me from 'free thinking' often as well as 'free behaving', if you will.

     Another constraint that may be even less obvious is that of assumption(s). In just about every circumstance where decisions are made, which is practically every moment, assumptions are made. Now some of these assumptions are what we would call 'safe' assumptions, while others claim to make an 'ass out of u and me'. So right off the bat, conforming and assumptions both are self-placed constraints. Fear would be a great constraint that we all fall victim to, to include myself. Fear can inhibit our ability to think. Finally, I would offer a lack of confidence would contribute to a self-placed constraint. Outside of assumptions, which can be derived from habits, previous knowledge, as well as a lack of understanding and awareness, I would say the other three constraints are all in one form, or another, a derivative of fear about something.

     During a video teleconference, it was suggested that those of us in the meeting provide some creative ideas on how to test somebody for a job we wanted them to perform without actually performing it just yet. While I was contemplating, my thoughts shifted to what someone else was saying, assuming that their idea would surely be better than mine. Now typically, I would naturally remain silent in order to hear and witness those around me, gathering information for myself before injecting myself into a discussion. However, in this case, I allowed myself to be constrained by a lack of self-confidence, fear that my idea may be less than desired, and the assumption that the others were judging me as so. I have come to realize that a fear of judgement is often a primary concern of many under similar circumstances.

     During that video teleconference, I could have planned ahead with potential way-aheads with respect to possible tests that could be performed. Doing so would have allowed me the confidence to share a well thought out idea, and possibly combine it with someone else's idea for a more robust test. If I plan to allocate time needed to be prepared for this kind of meeting, I can set myself up for success, allowing my thoughts and ideas to become more productive based on some recently thought of concepts I would like to share.

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10 Minutes a Day

     In times of stress, confusion, uncertainty and doubt, a time-out would do some of the most well-adjusted people some real good. This time-out provides immediate benefits for the here and now; a focused sense of calming oneself, and a lowering of heart and respiratory rate. When we deliberately take time to rest our minds from thinking, we open it to new opportunities through a renewed sense of self-awareness.

     When I was 14 years old, I decided to take martial arts to develop a stronger sense of discipline, as well as a more confident disposition to defend myself during high school. During training, we were required to take 5 minutes at the end of each class to sit quietly in the middle of the dojo to quiet our minds. Back then, I would focus on my breathing, go through a few form techniques in slow motion as a class review, and conduct some mental imagery of whatever came to mind that I felt was relaxing. I always left that dojo after every class feeling renewed, and refocused.

     In the past few days, I have realized that I am always thinking about something! I mean, I never realized how mentally active of a person I was. I never truly rest. Even when vacationing, and sunbathing on the beach, I am thinking about something; many things. After taking this time to rest the mind, at first, I found it quite difficult to not think. I literally had to focus on not thinking about anything, and just relax into being. By day two, I noticed my attention would get drawn to any little noise I was able to pick up. So in attempt to side step this issue, I used ear plugs. Now, I had to deal with the sound of silence, and ten minutes is a very long time. At the end, I mostly felt relaxed, but tired. On the third day, I wore the ear plugs again. This time, I decided to keep a rhythmic relaxed breathing pattern going while focusing on the interconnectedness of my physical, mental and spiritual aspects. That is to say, I was simply being aware that they were all interconnected for the whole 10 minutes. I found that when I 'came to', I was hyper-aware of my environment, had a certain clarity of thought, and was very deliberate when engaging in conversation with my spouse, as well as my children. 

     After further research on the matter, I found that Siegel (2009) proposed there were nine functions that were products of mental processes during what he called mindful awareness; body regulation, attuned communication, emotional balance, fear extinction or fear modulation, response flexibility, insight, empathy, morality and intuition. It was obvious I was able to experience a number of these functions after my third session.

     Experiencing this type of self modulation, I find great value in 'stealing' 10 minutes a day to reset myself, or even gain a 'leg up' under certain circumstances, such as just prior to a meeting, or an interview. The truth is, I find so much personal power that can be had through this practice, I would naturally want to share this with others, and will. I am just curious what my perception of these 10 minute opportunities will look like to me over time. How will I feel about it, and what will I gain? Practicing this mindfulness, directly places you in the awareness of now. If your time is spent focusing on the now, then anything that may have been considered stressful is no longer in your awareness, and therefore, in a way, no longer exists. The same goes for anything that you may deem stressful in the future. The moment of now can also provide you the opportunity to let go of any fears you may have previously been plagued with. Davis and Hayes (2011) state that more research is needed to better understand how the benefits of meditation practice accumulate over time.

 

References:

Davis, D. M., & Hayes, J. A. (2011). What are the benefits of mindfulness? A practice review of             psychotherapy-related research. Psychotherapy (APA), 48(2), 198-208. DOI:10.1037/a0022062

Siegel, D. J. (2009). Mindfulness awareness, mindsight and neural integration. The humanistic             psychologist, 37(2), 137-158. Http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/08873260902892220

 

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Self-Awareness II

     Prior to the MSLD Program, I was typically involved with 'on the surface' self-awareness that involved how I felt, emotionally and physically, my reactions to those around me (family and co-workers), how others are perceiving me based on how I look, how I carry myself, the tone in my voice, voice fluctuations, facial expressions, behavioral reactions, and general attitude. I also tend to judge myself quite harshly, now that I think of it. I feel I do so in order to keep up a level of attitude that I feel serves me at times.
     Case and point: I have not Military Free Falled in many years, and not doing so changed my attitude and desire surrounding it. However, as a military requirement, it must be undertaken for purposes of currency. When realizing I needed to start jumping again, I felt a fear about it; a feeling that once was one of exhilaration, but now upset me. How could I have let this happen? It doesn't serve me. Identifying this non-supportive attitude, I decided to remember all the things about jumping that was fun and easy. This, for the most part, helped relax me. This Emotional Intelligence (Whetten, 2016) provided me with a sense of renewed self-confidence that I had once lost. In fact, even as I write this, it is helping me reassure the sense of confidence that I will benefit from the next time I jump. I've learned if I can mentally stay involved with things I have less time to get physically involved in, my attitude would be much better when getting reacquainted with it.
     Nowadays, I try to incorporate a sense of self-realization; meaning, I question my judgements, so that I can evaluate how I came to that conclusion. If I recognize an old pattern, I apply the Elements of Reasoning, and to a lesser degree, the Standards of Critical Thinking (Nosich, 2012). In this process, I reassess my values and determine what they ought to be now based on a new self-realization about how I think and feel about having owned those values.
     Similarly, my marriage has been the perfect playground to test new ideas, and theories that require change. However, my attitude towards this change (Whetten, 2016, p. 61) was reluctance. It's that whole, "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" (Gray, 1992) understanding. The problem was I did not speak Venetian, and therefore, my logical Martian perspective would have to prevail as a truth for any one particular discussion. Thankfully, instead of learning Venetian, at this time, I opted to not argue my Martian perspective, but simply state it, and let it lie. In turn, my beautiful Venetian does not feel threatened, and can express her feelings without any rebuttal. I felt this was a strong adaptation in an area I felt I should take some responsibility. It works, because I had learned that it takes my spouse some time to process all the information that gets presented within a discussion.
     I suppose my Learning Style and Core Self-Evaluation are tied relatively close together in the sense that my understanding and that awareness of having high self-esteem, strong emotional stability with an internal locus of control lends proportionately to how I approach, identify, process, test and evaluate through cognitive learning, of which I would attribute 40% knowing, 50% planning and 10% creating to my learning style (Whetten, 2016, p. 59). These percentages are merely a general figure that captures a self-assessment with respect to work, friends and family. With that said, I am trying to be more open to creativity.
     Reflecting back, it excites me to know there are changes occurring with respect to what have been learning since beginning the MSLD Program. I look forward to seeing what other aspects of learning I will apply to the different aspects of my life.

References:

Gray, J. (1992). Men are from mars, women are from venus: The definitive guide to relationships.           Hammersmith, London: Element.

Nosich, G. M. (2012). Learning to think things through: A guide to critical thinking across the                 curriculum. Boston, MA.: Pearson.

Whetton, D. A., & Cameron, K. S. (2016). Developing management skills. (9th Ed.). Boston, MA.:         Pearson.