Personal Balance Sheet
Over the past eight weeks, I have been somewhat forced to identify specific traits and characteristics about myself that support my resonant behaviors as well as hinder those same behaviors. Knowing that I am not the resonant leader that I want to be yet, I must continue to search for a balance of strengths that support these behaviors and strengthen those weaknesses that have been an impedance. It has been a challenging unraveling of myself to seek both the desired and undesired within me. In this search, I have discovered what I will refer to as assets and liabilities, much like developing a financial account of one's material assets and debts on a balance sheet.
My Distinctive Strengths
The strengths that I have been able to identify through my experiences of developing relationships, reflection, and what others have appreciated in me include communication, organization, reading others, attention to detail, commitment, compassion, being authentic or genuine, and being always reliable. These traits and behaviors have been developed over the past 25 years, and I continue to improve as I reflect and become more aware of my behaviors with others.
My Potential Strengths
These strengths could best be described as underdeveloped strengths. While they may not be actual weaknesses per see, they have been identified as needing improvement by either doing them better or more often. These behaviors include sharing of ideas, offering help to others in need, meditating, volunteering, and efficient time management. I practice these behaviors now and then except for time management of which I practice every day. However, some of my liabilities tend to get in the way of improving my management of time.
My Enduring Dispositions That Supports Me
Behaviors that I have always enjoyed for as long as I can remember and that I know are genuinely strengths. Others include thoughtfulness, being considerate, self-aware, kind, personable, approachable, and self-centered. With most of these probably being self-evident of positive traits and behaviors, I feel I need to explain the benefit of self-centered vice selfish. I have come to understand and believe that the most loving person is a self-centered person because they focus on the development of self to be a better person for others. In contrast, a selfish person is not considering at all and only himself. These behaviors are a part of who I am, support my efforts of becoming a resonant leader, and a disposition I would never want to change.
My Weaknesses
One of my significant weaknesses is letting go of feelings associated with the hurt from someone I trusted. I literally would feel betrayed. I am not very good at just letting go the event, or moment when I experienced the hurt. However, I think of a few of those moments and constantly look for a way to forgive and let go. I have yet to find that way. In addition, I also have a difficult time handling frustration. I want to move through it more gracefully with patience for myself and whatever I may be frustrated with at the moment. Upon reflecting, I have discovered that I am more emotional than I had initially thought and that the common thread here is emotion. If I can move beyond the ego's fears, I will find myself in a healthier disposition to support myself emotionally.
Weaknesses I Want to Change
I do not do all that wellwith a couple of things and would like to change them to help minimize stress and improve relationships. The first is getting tasks completed early, so I do not feel pressured to complete them at the 11th hour. This procrastination occurs because I tend to perform well under pressure and set myself up to maximizes my time for other things I enjoy doing. However, I would prefer not to procrastinate and feel the stress I do. I know I feel good when the tasks are completed early. Another weakness is making my priorities in taskings the only priorities when working with others. I do not do this selfishly. I do this more unconsciously. I tend to approach and prioritize based I what I think is essential instead of considering others' priorities and aligning mine with theirs through a compromise. This misalignment has been most apparent within my marriage. We are sharing our priorities more often now.
My Enduring Weaknesses That Sometimes Get in My Way
When it comes to things that I have always done and still do that can sometimes get in the way of my time management is making time for my entertainment and relaxation in perhaps a not so efficient manner. In other words, I tend to fit it in when it is most convenient for myself and not necessarily for others. Because I place everyone else's needs before mine most of the time, I usually find myself taking time for myself more-less on the fly. I need to reflect more on how to fit myself into my schedule better so I can manage others' expectations as to what is important to me. Perhaps simply communicating with them what I need for myself within reason.
In addition to discovering these weaknesses and determining what I can do to turn them into strengths, I would like to offer another perspective. As humans, we are flawed. The ego brings fear and its many derivatives such as insecurity, anxiety, stress, jealousy, frustration, lack, selfishness, and many more. While these feelings may be what we consciously would prefer not to experience, perhaps they offer us the opportunity to feel empathy and express compassion for each other. can you think of a better reason to connect?
References:
McKee, A., Boyatzis, R., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader: Develop your emotional intelligence, renew your relationships, sustain your effectiveness. Harvard Business Review Press.
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