Tell Your Story
Since I was about seven years old, I began becoming more aware of my
surroundings, and my place among them. I would look at things and try to
determine what it meant to me, and who I was in relationship to it. I
recall drawing conclusions from making associations with numbers,
colors, music, and the arts. I remember seeing the number seven in the
window of a local pharmacy and thinking what a special age I was at to
have it posted in a window. Although it was an advertisement for
Seagram's Seven, the association meant something. In time, the number
seven would become a very spiritual number for me. My favorite color
growing up was cobalt blue. It was a very specific shade of blue. Even
the name told me it was my favorite color. Classical music struck a cord
in me, letting me know of just another association. I wasn't, however,
at the time able to clearly identify what the actual association was,
but I was able to simply identify with it. Debussy, Rachmaninoff, Bach,
Mozart; it didn't matter, I loved them all. Drawing was a way for me to
find solitude and focus on something, namely light, shadow, proportion,
and perspective. It was a challenge to draw something and see it come
out just the way I intended it to.
The next period of in my life is the period of becoming who and what I wanted to be. I
had developed along the way, a sense of self. I could even say that
with all the new stimuli at that age, my self awareness was somewhat
distracting and even annoying. I was always hearing myself think; always conscious of my own thoughts. Although I had been in
gymnastics since I was seven, it wasn't until I was about 10 that I knew
I wanted to compete as a gymnast. There was a poise, that classical
music, and that cobalt blue that I wanted to perform in the gym. The
idea of becoming an American gymnast was motivating. The concept I held
about it was exciting. I couldn't wait to become it. Over the next four
years, friends and family shared a sense of awe with me about being a
gymnast and performing the skills that they do. In time, other's
expectations for me proved to be too much. It was also during this time
that I learned how lying to my mother almost earned me a trip to a
psychologist. At that age, it was just too scary to ever lie again. So, I
learned the value of honesty; that I'd rather pay the consequence of a
truth than of a lie. When my parents separated, and the new gymnastics
season started, I no longer had a ride to the gym. Thinking that this
minor setback was temporary, I signed up for Karate. After developing my
discipline and martial arts skills over the next two and a half years, a
good friend, and fellow gymnast invited me to join him at at his gym,
taking the train three times a week. Once again, I was doing what I
loved.
As I entered this next
phase in life, I realized I had developed some very high standards for
myself. Between my gymnastics training and drafting shop in high school,
I came to know a standard of excellence that I expected of myself. I
strived for excellence in everything I did. In doing so, I separated
myself from my brothers and peers at school. I was now different, and
not one to be associated with. It simply was not cool to have high
standards as a teenager then. These standards included terms like
precise, strong, flexible, clean, refined, driven, focused, neat, and
devoted. These standards would follow me for the rest of my life in
everything I did. In adulthood, I learned to persevere, and understand attention to
detail. After retiring from gymnastics, I found these standards came to
be necessary in the Navy. It was also around this time that I identified
the fact I was subconsciously remembering behavioral patterns of people
I spent a considerable amount of time with. I also realized that I was
using this information to calculate the use of words, behavior and other
decisions that proved beneficial in part to myself. It helped me
understand them on a deeper level in a relatively short period of time.
Since I began this course, its clear that I have been doing quite a bit
of critical thinking all my life. It appears to be something I have
control over, and can use to benefit myself, or even others. I am now
learning how to focus on deepening and broadening my ability to think
critically, an enjoying it.
